April 2, 2014

home is...

I've been wondering since we moved here when a place feels like home.

I grew up in a 45 minute radius my whole life.  Outside of that, I spent every family vacation, in Arkansas, with my grandpa and family.  After my freshman year of college, I moved to Provo.  It wasn't love at first site, but after that first full summer, everything else fell into place.

I had so many important milestones there!  I was accepted into my teaching program, I met my husband, I met my biological Aunt and cousins, I made friends who were beautiful examples to me, and I taught my first year.  That first year of teaching, I fell in love with the country near my teaching job.

When we were packing up to move cross country, it was all so bittersweet.  As our friends started to move out as well, I began to realize that it would never quite be our college town in the same way again.
When I moved to Utah, it was simple: "I'm from Kentucky."

When we moved from Utah, it was more complicated: "My husband and I moved from Utah, but I'm from Kentucky and he is from Arizona.  We came to Georgia for a job."

At what point, do you live somewhere, and start saying "My name is Autumn and I'm from Georgia" ?  Is it when you have reached milestones?  Is it growing up somewhere, for your whole life, and never quite getting that feeling again?  Is it when your heart and mind stop thinking, about the possibility that you could move, and you just decide to love it anyway?

So, I think this is my way of saying:
My name is Autumn.  I feel a little homesick at times, but I have no idea where home is anymore.  I own a home, but I've loved a lot of different places and they will always have a part of my heart.  Someday Georgia will have a piece too.


Lourdes said...

Colon and I are both from Florida and moved to AZ last year.

I feel the same way and am quite confused. Whenever people ask where my home is I ALWAYS say "Florida". How can I not?

When will AZ be home?

i feel you on this!

Melanie said...

I can relate, Autumn. I felt this way about Alberta for a while. I lived in the mid-west of Canada for 5 years and now that I'm back in Ontario, I find myself saying "I'm from Alberta" now. Funny eh? The mountains really changed me, and I did a lot of growing up in the part of the country, so it's only natural to feel nostalgic.

I've been back in Ontario for half a year now, and I'm only just beginning to call it home again. It's hard sometimes because I feel like I've outgrown this city, but I have to remind myself that places don't have to make their mark on me, I can make my mark on them. ;)

Lauren said...

Oh, this post is MY LIFE. I have always struggled with this question, since I have moved around so much. I could talk your ears off on this subject, but I think the thing that I have learned is that home is where you make it. ...And that it's ok to have more than one place to call home. :)

Give it a year or two. Places have a way of sneaking in and lacing themselves throughout your heart strings. But it seems like you are already learning that.