beautiful me

I decided to take the Beautiful Me challenge.

 

It's funny because I was really thinking about this Sunday.  I think after a semester of working with children with special needs and my husband being gone I stopped caring about myself.  My makeup.  My hair.  My clothes.  The list goes on.  Then I started caring and it wasn't really healthy.  On Sundays I let the comparison monster come out and wreak havoc in my brain.

"That lady has two babies and she is much thinner than me.  Am I the only person here who isn't running marathons and who has a dysfunctional family?..." and the list goes on and on as my imagination pulls out new comparisons.

The list goes on and then a friend sat down next to me who is both pregnant and thinner than me.  She said "Man, I wish I could be skinny like her."

This is when how ridiculous this was really hit me.  "You are growing a human, you aren't suppose to be skinny- you're supposed to be healthy.  You are beautiful!"  Besides that, I realized I need to just stop comparing myself to anything but my best self.  It's a cycle and it creeps up slowly...and then before I know it I am out of control.  Are there things I can improve?  Most definitely, but I think people go a little crazy on this myself included.

I love my eye color which is a honey-ish color.

I love that I have at least two dimples on the right side of my face when I smile underneath my mouth.

I love that I am 5'3.  Skirts are usually long enough and boys were always tall enough.

I love that I am easily amused.

I love that after living in Utah for 4 years that people can still tell I am from the south.

I love that I have had a lot of experiences so I can have empathy for people (although not at the time).

I love that I am becoming a better person.

I love beautiful me.

our future yard

These were Devin's favorite.

Peonies are my favorite.  Mom says ants fertilize them.  Our future yard will be the new release site for several ant farms.  I am not sure how that keeps them from getting into our house, but we can figure that out later...right?

We encased three pairs of shoes in the mud....because I found a pair of Devin's old running shoes in the car after I sunk in with some nice shoes.  Yeah...I need to get to cleaning those.

We visited the Tulip Festival in Portland which was beautiful. However, we were not in beautiful moods and twenty minutes later we were laughing about how dumb we can be sometimes when we were driving off and still cold, soaked, and muddy.

Earlier that morning I realized when I had finished up grading papers for my Professor at 1:30 AM I had shut a pen in my laptop- which meant my whole computer screen was cracked. We just bought the computer in October and realizing I probably didn't make enough money the whole semester being a teacher's assistant to cover the actual cost of the damages I felt like face-palming the rest of the day. We had bought the hardware insurance- but not the accidental.

Next time we go see some tulips we'll be sure to do some frolicking. If you squint...maybe you can imagine it. In the mean time, I just really love tulips and I'm glad I have a husband that will look at fields of flowers with me even when I'm in a foul mood and watch chick flicks in our hotel room afterwords while I brooded.

sew easy? mmmm.

I bought this a couple of weeks ago as a way to motivate myself to get through student teaching....you know...the dangling carrot principle.

Now that my Mom has been in town for my graduation Friday we have been crafting up a storm (which by the way, I am very slow and bad at).

We've made quite a few small hair bows which I told my Mom I have been wanting to do for the last year or two in hopes that it would be the gateway drug to sewing.  I wore a flower hair clip I made to church yesterday and someone told me that I looked like a high schooler...which I'm fine with as long as I don't get a teaching job in a high school.

Mom has also cooked excellent meals ... as in steak, and biscuits and gravy, and southern-style red beans and rice, and the list goes on.

...and in 40 more years maybe I will be amazing at this stuff too.

the only time I have questioned if I should eat something or not

I have to preface this by saying that I once found a dead mouse under my table at my favorite Chinese food restaurant.  I totally saw them take it back into the kitchen.  Do I still eat there?  Every time I go home.

So, my freshman roommate recently went to Portland and suggested we should check out this place (I didn't go to BYU).  This monster by our car should have scared us, however, we went in anyway.

Shortly after entering Devin told me that we needed to leave.  I insisted we should take a photo in the old fashioned photo booth.  He told me he would practically pay me to get a photo booth picture somewhere else.  I tell him he needs to lighten up and he tells me he is just really uncomfortable.

Then I look up at the menu and start to figure out why.  Every doughnut name had a sexual meaning, a cuss word, and I am thinking "You have got to be kidding me."  The person at the cashier motions us up and that is when we heard it.

People repeatedly barfing in the kitchen over and over...so loudly we actually had trouble making our order.  We were ordering a dozen and creatively trying to not say the weird doughnut names when several other people started barfing in the back.  Louder and louder.

Devin was formerly the one who was uneasy and now I wanted to bolt.  "...what are they doing back there?" I asked the lady.

The sounds got louder and louder.  She delayed about a minute and said "I think they are trying to throat sing.  Their roommates showed them youtube videos of throat singing."  The kitchen in the back has become a chorus of lemmings barfing.  My ears are ringing.  "You know," she continues "like a didgeridoo."  Obviously, I don't know what second grade barfing noises has to do with didgeridoos or why they should ever me near my recently purchased and obscenely named doughnuts.

I looked in the back before we left and the young man I saw had glazed over eyes (not a doughnut pun) and was clearly high.  I was afraid to look more.

 

I didn't think much about it.  We both had a doughnut in the car and they tasted good.  However, apparently the slogan on the box also makes it look like we purchased...sex toys.  A younger business woman looked at us at she approached the elevator "You are going to have fun, huh?"  I wanted to die.  After that those doughnuts just didn't taste good anymore...and as you can see...I blurred out the slogans because they are dirty.

This is a Voo Doo doll doughnut we ordered.  Some of them had names on them.  I should think this is funny, but after our experience they just really creeped us out.  I think for the time being I am fine with living in Utah and not being open-minded.

I never knew I could feel compromised in a doughnut shop.  Portland can stay weird...I just don't want it near my food.

worth the 14 hour drive

Waiting for the tram after being rained on all day.  Still smiling.

It rained the whole time we were in Portland.  We noticed no one else was carrying umbrellas...so neither did we.  Haha, this may or may not be why we are getting sick.

We took public transportation everywhere.  My favorite moment was when I overheard a Dad tell his daughter the huge Paul Bunyan statue was going to chase after her if she didn't sit in her seat.  Now that I have worked with children a lot instead of judging him before I applaud him for his creativity in desperation.

The ethnic food carts instantly became a favorite item!  The gyros we got were yummy enough that we were stopped and asked where from where we purchased them.  We then saw the lady run off with one lunch box in her hand and buy a gyro for herself and hop on the bus.

1) Powell's bookstore.  Largest private bookstore in the US.

2)  Pigeons.  I think they are pretty.  I don't care if they are a trash bird.  Devin said I was more amused with them the fatter they were.

3)  Gyros.  You know you want one...

Until Sunday, we are in....

Portland, Oregon!

easy-to-make invitations

I made these the other day to help my mentor teacher out.  She isn't really one to give compliments and I beamed when she loved them and so did everyone else (my love language is verbal affirmation...).

I'm not a craft person, so they are super simple to make!

Needed:

Buttons

String

Hot glue gun

Clear stickers

Scalloped scissors

Rubber cement

Cardstock

I told my Mentor teacher that I wanted to get a hot glue gun to do some crafts.  

She made me a goody bag on my last day with one.  I'm going to miss that lady.

And even though we ain't got money, I'm so in love with you, honey.

Yesterday was my last day of student teaching.  When I was saying goodbye one of my students started crying as he hugged me...and since then I have been a little bit of a mess.  Devin has kindly watched a three-hour marathon of Say Yes to the Dress, Dear John, and My Big Fat Greek Wedding since Friday while dealing with my melodramatic seemingly post-apocalyptic melt downs.

I may have no idea where I will be working post-graduation (state budget cuts turned special education into one of the least practical careers....) or whether or not I will be accepted in graduate school, but I know Devin loves me and that is enough.

it's really happening

my first research conference

I came and stood by my booth and a young man moved quickly over to my booth with a huge smile on his face.  I knew that even though he kept saying his cousin had Asperger syndrome...that he did too.  About twenty minutes later I told him I needed help developing my project and if he knew anyone with Aspergers I would love their input.

He rolled his eyes, laughed and said "I am an Aspie."

I had the most meaningful conversation about Autism that I have ever had.  I loved his perspective, his optimism, and his stories.  I loved hearing how much his teachers and parents meant to him.  I watched him walk out and leave after our conversation (and I may or may not have gotten teary-eyed)- I realized my poster was the only one he had come to ask questions about.

In my heart, I said a little prayer that someday I could see a child I have worked with be a junior in college- so happy and uplifted by their family.  After all of the frustration, tears, and sacrifices I realized that this is why I work with children.

to-do list vanquished....bucket list to begin.

Thought I would share what made me dizzy on the way to the class I TA for... I made the photo smaller so it wouldn't make everyone else's eyes strain too.

For the most part my stress vanished in a smoke of a productive weekend and a wonderful Monday.

student teaching portfolio = finished

special education exit exam = passed (aka I can graduate now)

final student teaching observation = completed today

one more recommendation letter submitted to grad school = one more down

my students today = fun

poster completed and printed = research conference tomorrow

After being so productive, I canceled my gym membership because of marriage + budgeting = not a lot of extras.  Do you know what we did on the way home? We bought two cartons of BYU Creamery ice cream.  I may or may not be face-palming right now.

 Any suggestions on work out videos?  I like them a lot, but I have to switch them up.