September 30, 2014
September 29, 2014
In the last weekend, we were in a car over 20+ hours, went to my sister's funeral, saw my brother for the first time in like 9 years, and ate a lot of food.
At church, we saw my Dad get called to his new calling in the Bishopric and see a lot of friends they had there 25 years ago. The church they go to now is where I was blessed as a baby. I'm sad my parents don't live in Kentucky anymore, but probably more so that my parents now live twice the amount of time away from us. I'm glad my parents get to start over though.
Now we're back to the grind of catching up on homework and work. I feel like I'm walking around kind of with my head in a different place, but that's kind of usually how it is.
September 22, 2014
Time out for Women is an optional women's conference that my church has. I went last year, and I thought it was okay, but this year I was completely blown away. I wrote so many notes, I related so much to everything, and I feel like the whole conference was for me.
The message I got was that we all have spiritual gifts and we need to acknowledge them, we have certain gifts we have to work really hard to receive to handle challenges we have, and we need to help others see their spiritual gifts.
A particular speaker made me think a lot about my anxiety. She talked about how her cussing problem had become so bad (as in she was having verbal altercations with strangers) that she went to talk to her Bishop. He had her go talk to the young women in her ward, and in general the whole ward, so people could help her with her problem. Prior to moving here, I had some anxiety, but I didn't feel like it was something that was disabling like it has been here. My anxiety has something I have had professional help with, it is something I have talked to the Bishop about, it is something that is a common and probably daily topic in our house.
So, I'm going to be working on my anxiety. I've asked a few ladies to help me recognize when I am letting anxiety rule my life and I invite anyone reading to kindly remind me the same. That being said, I do think there are objective ways to describe experiences that are good for the soul), but I don't think that happens from viewing life from an anxious lens.
So, starting today, I'm going to be more cognizant of asking for gifts to help me with my anxiety. Specifically, I want more hope. This is a spiritual gift I need. I need to it conquer my anxiety, to know that the experiences I have been having will turn into blessings that I can empathize with others about, to assume the best of people's interactions, and to have the faith to assume that things will always work out.
Help remind me?
September 15, 2014
I've accomplished more than I thought I would at this age and I have a lot more than I knew to even dream. I have a husband who encourages me to be my best and has, without fail, always forgiven and understood my many weaker attributes. I'm in graduate school studying something I have been interested in for years. Our life is extremely suburban with a mortgage, a yard, a pet, callings in church, and I get a lot of pure enjoyment from inviting people over for dinner.
The last two years have been full of a lot of chaos and I've had a lot of tender mercies experiences to keep me going. I'm a firm believer that we develop our capacity to see life more beautifully and have happiness by contrast; I've had very little control over the roller coaster I've been on the last few years, but I know that we have a lot of blessings coming our way, and I'm going to work my hardest to see them as they come.